When filks go bad...

Hello. I'm Timofei Shatrov and I'm writing for this great (I hope) newsletter.
You may know me as the author of Mike Throll comic strip. Some like it, some
absolutely loathe it. But that's not the case.

Today I'm going to tell you how I make filks. You know, these filks. If
you don't know what the heck is filk then I'll explain. It's when you rip music
from some song and write new lyrics. There are a lot of ADOM filks and you can
find them there: http://jibble.dyndns.org/adom/filks/index.html. This one is my
favourite:

So I say thank you for the Trident, the weapon I'm wielding
Thanks for all the monsties its killing
Who can live without it,
I ask in all honesty,
what would ADOM be,
Without a stupidly big spear what are we?
So I say thank you for the Trident,
for giving it to me.

LOL! Thank you fo the Trident! Priceless! But let's go back to the topic. I 
should say, I like writing songs. I need to have some catchy melody in my mind
to write a song. So, when I can't think of good melody I take an existing one.
One day I wanted to write a song about one girl. We met in the train. She lives 
somewhere in Siberian tundra so we'll probably never meet once more again.
"We'll never meet once more again" was going to be a punchline of the song. I
was trying to make a music for this one but my attempts failed. So I grabbed the
tune of Italian song "Su te noi" (or something. I'm not good at Italian songs.)
And the filking process started.

Verse 1.
I would like to see you tomorrow
I would like to say you hello
I would like to call you baby
I would like to love you like crazy

> In the original each line started with "su te noi or something" so I decided to
> keep this form in my English version. The text is quite stupid, but there are a
> lot of songs with stupid lyrics. That "love you like crazy" line is especially
> stupid and it sounds like I want to f*ck her. But hey, it's naked truth ;). So I
> decided to keep it. Now for the chorus

What I wouldn't like to is to never find you
And forget the look of your face

> I kinda forgot it already... She said she'll send photo to me, but Russian mail
> is very slow and I don't expect it soon. 

Your hair and your eyes and your voice and your smile
All the things that make me okay.

You and me were so close yeah we were so close
And now we're so far away

> Hey, not THAT close.

I would like to see you yeah I'd like to see you
F*ck we'll never meet once more again.

> Maybe that "f*ck" is stupid but it fits like no other word does. "But" lacks
> the expression of sadness and "damn" doesn't work as conjunction. And both of
> these words somehow disrupt the flow of the song when you sing it while "f*ck"
> doesn't. (This line should be funny out of context).

Verse 2 

I would like to invite you for dinner
I would like to make some things clearer
I would like to make the world smaller
I would like to see you tomorrow

> Random babblings. And in the end I ran out of imagination and decided to repeat
> first line of the song because "tomorrow" rhymes with "smaller" (I guess there's
> something wrong with my pronunciation (sp?)).

Chorus repeats.

Verse 3

I would like to refind you somewhere
I would like to say you I love you
I would like to refind you somewhere
I would like to say you I love you

> It repeats in original too, IIRC.

Na na na na na na na na na
F*ck we will never meet once more again 
Na na na na na na na na na
F*ck we will never meet once more again 

> Repeat as much as you can... then fadeout.

Then I thrown this crap in my archive and almost forgot about it. And now I have
opportunity to share it with you.

That's all, folks! Till next time.

If you liked or disliked this article you can send me an e-mail to grue@mail.ru

Timofei Shatrov aka Grue